Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There's always time for handjobs
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
