Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
