He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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