Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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