Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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