My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
