it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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