i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize