Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
