He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize