i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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