I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We just shotgunned beers for America
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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