Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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