so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
