me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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