went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize