I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
