me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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