is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
