worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
