Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
