i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
