the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize