He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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