Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
