I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
