So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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