I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
what day is it and did you see me today?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
