I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
