we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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