Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
