Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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