I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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