Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
