do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
