bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
