drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Life is so much better after having sex.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
