What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
