I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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