dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
