he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have fence marks all over my body
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
