Just invented taco cereal.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also, beer. Big fan.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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