Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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