My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
