His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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