Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she pinky promised me she was 18
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
