i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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