I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
