How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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