At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
