your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
