ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
