out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
