This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
