i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
