I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
