so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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