who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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