i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
