quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
