another moral hangover. fuck.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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