Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
