We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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