Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking

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(513): View more from Ohio

i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.

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(61): View more from Australia

I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her

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(512): View more from Texas

Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!

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